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Then you realize you’re femme, but you feel imposter syndrome, and it frustrates you when people assume you’re straight. When I was in high school, I would secretly watch The L Word with my girlfriend that I was half-secretly dating. I was one of those teens who wasn’t in the closet, but wasn’t fully out, either. Except I was still caught in between wanting to be her or be with her.

A I can energetically feel if you're going through an experimental phase, if you're just switching teams temporarily due to trauma, if you're trying to piss off your conservative parents or if you're the ~real deal~, babes. When I come across a "lesbian" (I'm doing proverbial air quotes) and get the vibe that she's straight, I sweetly smile to myself and hope she proves me (and whatever poor dyke's heart she's toying with) wrong. It's got nothing to do with her career, if she wears her keys clipped on her belt loop or if she can throw a softball. ) It's also one thing to be a pillow princess and lie down with closed eyes as you blissfully let a lesbian go down on you.My inbox is always filled with frantic messages from lesbians of all ages, constantly asking something along the lines of "I like this girl, but how can I tell if she's a lesbian?! I still screw up "than" and "then" (much to the dismay of my editor). Being able to tell if a woman is not a l-e-s-b-i-a-n. But the real question is, how can you tell if she's NOT a lesbian? I'm overwhelmed by menial tasks, like responding to text messages and listening to voicemails.Sometimes, we're on really high doses of antidepressants and have traded in our libidos for that extra kick of serotonin.However, if I meet a lesbian, and she's never been interested in sex with her female partner, it's usually a little suspect.

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To say you're a lesbian but you don't to perform oral is like saying you're heterosexual and hate the dick.

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