It reduces individuals down to their race and fails to see them as an actual person. My own body issues and fatness went a long way to make me question the validity of dating preferences.
Knowing that men were judging me because of my body led me to reconsider how attached value to a potential mate for traits beyond anyone's control.
And it’s a preference I think I finally “got over,” thankfully.
Also noteworthy are the folks who have preferences for certain people of color to the point of a fetish.
I have lipedema, which gives me enormous legs, but I am far from the only marginalized body type. And physical handicaps are reflected in the media when we look at “eligible singles” or #relationshipgoals.
Thank you to @christinamorris_ for this amazing shot with @crumbagency 🌈💛💕 A post shared by JAMIE WINDUST (@leopardprintelephant) on BUT, despite all this cheery queer energy, it can also make things incredibly wild and problematic.
Well, I know a lot of people who are very concerned with dating somebody with a “good body.” The assumption they have is that fat bodies are not good bodies, and disabled bodies? Many singles with the privilege of a slim and fully able body assume that fat folks just don’t take care of themselves.
They have no idea how many hours a fat person might actually work on their body every day, because all they judge is appearance.
It then becomes very clear you only want to sleep with them and/or care about what’s going on in their pants. Your sexuality and the ways in which you define your own sexuality are your goddamn business.
If you need help, I can help, but oh boy is there a line where that help stops. One time a guy tried to tell me he was adamant he wasn’t gay (this was literally 10 minutes in), and that he just liked to sleep with trans people because they were “interesting” and “different”.