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You could see this as a “wake-up call in your marriage to examine problems in the communication between the two of you and to address this.Of course your husband should not blame you and he must take responsibility for how he has hurt you with his online behaviour, but the two of you must take responsibility for improving the marriage.Though it may be painful, the fact that you have started talking about issues is a good sign.To continue with this process you may wish to seek marriage counselling ( relationshipsireland.com, accord.ie).When I spoke to him again about it, he did apologise and said he won’t do it again but he then came out with a load of stuff about how unhappy he was in the marriage, that we never spend time together (which is true), but I don’t think it is fair for him to blame me.

Up until this, I thought things were okay in our marriage, though of course we haven’t had much couple time with the demands of four children but this discovery has come as a bolt out of the blue.

There is a good chance of success for the two of you, if your husband accepts responsibility for what he has done and if the two of you are willing to work hard on improving your marriage.

Take some time out together You can also take action at home to improve your marriage on a daily basis.

Recently, I discovered that my husband has been using adult chat rooms online and seems to have been communicating in sexually explicit ways with other people.

When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line.

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