Friends dating transition
I think that viewing relationships as an inevitable thing that happens between two people who are attracted to each other takes away from the emotional vulnerability, and work, that goes into building strong commitments.
Ashley: We met in a seminar that was set up like a production company, and I was his boss. About a year later, after ending a terrible relationship and getting fired from my job, I went to a party at his house.
This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC.
Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin.
Having personally experienced both the positives and the negatives of dating a friend, I’ll say this: there are few things more precious than a friendship that becomes more than a friendship, but there are also few things more painful than losing a romantic relationship and a friendship simultaneously. To commemorate the end of Friendship Month at Man Repeller, I interviewed five couples who braved the stakes and went from “friends” to “more than friends.” Below, their thoughts on what that leap was like.
Kelly: We were good ol’ fashion friends from the fall of 2010 to the fall of 2011. Then we were friends with benefits until I moved to Seattle, and then back to just friends until October of 2013.
Nothing felt weird to me, but the transitions didn’t just happen on their own.
At each new point, we always had a conversation to find out where we were and how we felt.
When we broke up nine months later, all the usual post-breakup awkwardness and bitterness were multiplied tenfold by the fact that we were forced to hang out whenever our families got together, which was often.
That said, if you act natural, communicate your feelings, and respect your friend, you'll find that you might start one of the most meaningful relationships in your life. Your mom is limiting the behavior of dating which would put you and another person in a situation that she does not believe you are ready for. It is ok to feel something more than friendship for someone even if you do not date.
Dating a friend is widely recognized to be a pursuit fraught with potential complications.
She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 10 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.